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am i positive or toxic?

keep your head up!


nobody can upset you without your permission.


spread love not negativity!


Where does the positivity start, and where does the suppression of your emotions end? I feel that as young people in what is the era of mental health prioritization, we tend to be conflicted. Conflicted about how to feel what we feel. Conflicted about the difference between a bad day and a depressive episode. Conflicted about telling our friends to push through the same problems we're stumped by. My counselors are telling me not to stress out, enjoy high school, don't let it get to you. They are also telling me that colleges look at my absences, falling behind is fatal, competition is your only choice. Schools feel that same conflict. How do we as a district decrease suicide rates while maintaining our same record breaking numbers? How do we tell our students to climb the ladder while trying to get rid of the ladder? There are and will always be an impossible cycle of questions surrounding the fragility of happiness. Whether you have a chemical imbalance in your brain or are going through a breakup, your present is yours. Your present can only be controlled by you. Quotes can make you smile, friends can help you laugh, face masks can relax you. But only you, and your choices, can positively impact your emotions. Watching peers spend hours on homework means nothing to what you need. Seeing reposts of homecoming proposals means nothing to what you need. Reading your best friends accomplishments mean nothing to what you need. Seeking help or finding your own version of what it means to smile might just mean everything. Allow yourself to find what you need to be fulfilled, not 'happy' for a day, but fulfilled for a lifetime. It can take forever or no time at all. It can stay the same or it can change tomorrow. Find what fulfills you and be patient. The sweetness of happy moments would mean next to nothing without the bitter pain of sad moments. This isn't just me telling you that happiness and instagram positivity is whatever you make of it. It is me telling myself. It's why I started my own company, day by day we find what fulfills us. I think this blog is part of that for me so thank you. Thank you for contributing to what helps me find purpose.


-not too happy with not being too happy,

ayesha

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